Monday, 9 January 2017

Focus on the good

Everyday I try and wake up feeling optimistic about all the things that day could bring, or what we can make of it.

Then sometimes, life wants to be a bit of a pest. I mean, in comparison to severe problems this seems very minor, but equally its something that means a lot to me. Today was going okay, if you don't include the fact that we all woke up on the wrong side of bed,  but never would I have predicted what I was to then see in the afternoon. I could smell a random damp smell upstairs, then I heard a drip.

Then I opened the cupboards in the girls room, to see a huge leak that had gone all over their things, their newly painted walls, brand new fitted carpet, books, dvds, lots of our washing that hadn't yet been sorted into piles. I then opened the other side, to find that all of my precious photobooks of our family were there - soaked, wrinkled, floppy and ruined. I have since spent the evening hair drying, and carefully unfolding individual pages to try and restore the good, but i'm not so sure it'll be enough.

*This was all going on while Phoenix was rushing to the toilet for a poo, √Člodie lost balance and bumped her head on the door and I was all in a fluster seeing to my babies and the fast dripping water in the girls room.

Yes this may seem something so small, and I'm so thankful I saw it before it got worse, or the ceiling came through or something like that, but I can honestly tell you that I have a heavy heart tonight and feel like my heart sank a little. I spend so much time loving to document us, our life. Practising my craft and then spend even more time photo-booking to make sure i'm preserving more than just an online diary here. I may be able to order copies but thats if I saved them or not, who knows. It's days like these though (no matter how shit it may feel in the moment) or when life feels like its all too consuming - the thing I like to do most is focus on the all of the good that also surrounds me. I then remember that today, my boy has been a little superstar and keeping me giggling with his lovely witty nature and facial expressions, how I blended some yummy goodness for little Didi to enjoy, that my girls have come home happy from school, having a cup of tea with my Dad after he came to the rescue and looked at the leak, and not forgetting all the bedtime kisses & cuddles I got from my four babies.

On days when I feel like I'm failing at everything, or just woke up feeling very demotivated (maybe from lack of sleep) and overall lacking inspiration for how I want my day to pan out. Sometimes the kids wake up in the most horrendous moods, this can make the household a little crazy for the first part of the morning whether its before school, or even on the weekend. Having four kids is beyond amazing, but never 100% perfect. Its tiring, hard work and can make you feel like you're going to crumble. But with everything in mind, when I look around with fresh eyes after a breather, a cup of tea, or simply watching my kids  playing happily, birds soaring across a beautiful sky, that song on the radio that I haven't heard in years - these are some of the things that lift my spirits and make me switch back & realise to keep thinking and focusing on the good.

I have so much to be thankful for and on those days where it gets a bit much I try my best to remember this all the more. A few months back I had a couple of situations arise which made me feel like I was in a very dark place, anxious about everything, finding it hard to accept change, or the speed of change anyway. Definitely when it came to our kids, I find it so hard with each passing milestone or phase/ age but equally I am feeling so blessed to be able to witness the changes and embrace them (tantrums and all, even if they do drive me bonkers at the height of them!) ...and slowly I am coming back to the better way of thinking, the way of knowing that everything happens for a reason, theres a time and a place for everything and with that - time waits for nobody.

I read this quote recently and it couldn't be more appropriate.

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