Wednesday, 17 June 2015

It will never be okay to soul destroy.

When i'm sat wasting too much time on social media, I sometimes stumble across some really bizarre and completely heart breaking stories/posts. Recently I had read a few about how people are 'shaming their children, name calling, belittling them and sharing for all to see - just to punish them'. It really stopped me in my tracks as it hit me so hard, Parenting is something I not not do in my every day life, its something I love, want to protect and I feel so passionate about these types of things as I am a I happen to have three small, very impressionable little children. It got me thinking (with lots of tears rolling down my face too) that it is extremely concerning that these things are going on everywhere, and the scariest thought is that these people think its all okay.

I have always been a sensitive soul, wear my heart on my sleeve, takes negative comments hard. I have vivid memories of when my Mum refused to buy one of my school photos as she said "look at your hair, did you even brush it? and why did you wear that jumper?" - I was 8. and I still remember it now. This isnt a post about me bad mouthing my Mum as that's just irrelevant, I just wanted to base a fact that  something so small like that one comment can stay with someone for this long. 

Just imagine what other, even more severe damaging words or actions might do to our children? 

Being a parent doesn't give you any right to dictate how your child is feeling, how they should be or who they are. We are here to be a guidance for them, giving them wings to set them free on their own path eventually, making them see that they can be who they wish to. It really is so worrying what's going on in the world and what we're bringing our children into. As parents, we are here to nurture, connect with and love our children unconditionally. Showing them the utmost respect and empathy is the way forward to help them grow into self-respecting adults later on in life. Shaming your child, belittling them, making them feel like they're not worth anything will NEVER be okay. How dare those people out there that do this continue to do so, feeling that they have the right to tell someone what they can or cannot do, who they are or who they can or cannot be.

 It really is tragic.

Allowing yourself to do this will not only destroy the true connection you should have with your child, but you will be absolutely be jeopardising the welfare of your children's happiness, not to mention your actions being completely soul-destroying for them. What ever happened to being proud of your children, seeing things from their point of view? Connecting with your child allows you to understand things from their perspective, they never said parenting would be easy, but shaming your children to try and gain respect (out of fear) is disgraceful in my eyes. Yes parenting can be tough at times but it's bloody worth it. 

I will forever show my little three how much I care for them, that I love them unconditionally and would lay down my life for them. I want my little ones to grow up knowing that its important to be nice to people, but to also stand your ground with what you believe in, to know they can have their own mind, face difficult situations with a strong head, to respect others how they wish to be respected. I want them to know that its never going to be fun treading on other people just to get what they want in life. I wish that my littles with forever feel confident in telling me something that they're unsure of, or if they've made a mistake, or if in the event they have done something wrong but know that we can talk things through, and to not just do these things out of fear of how I "want to control them and their feelings". We need to build these foundations from the start, our children need to know just how amazing they are.

 I will always tell them just how wonderful they are, how they can achieve anything in life and above all to believe in their self worth.

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9 comments

  1. A great post Nat, you make so many good points. Fortunately I haven't seen any of these articles but they sound horrid. How could anyone belittle or make a spectacle of their child to make them feel bad? How awful, it makes me feel sad. You're so right, as parents we are them to guide or children, to teach them right from wrong and above all else, to love them and support them unconditionally. Becoming a mama is the best gift and not something to be taken for granted. Xxx

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  2. This is beautiful and just how I feel too. We have to shape our children, yes, but not BREAK them. We have to somehow find it in ourselves to be the examples of growing up right, so that they can model themselves on us and grow up to be healthy and happy and to love themselves as much as we love them.

    We're all going into this a little bit f-cked up ourselves but we need to be mindful of that and aware of our own damage, so that we don't inadvertently harm the children we love so much. And we need to remember how utterly raw it can feel to be a child at times.

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  3. Beautiful post and just how it should be. I hate the way some people think it's ok to treat their children - and slag them off across social media. It's not right at all x

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  4. Lovely and you're completely right. None of us are prefect and we will get things wrong, but I'm amazed at the new trend of shaming your children on social media to teach them a lesson. It might teach them something, but I'm not sure it's a lesson that you want them to learn! #sharewithme

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  5. What a wonderful post! I am with you whole-heartedly. I'll never understand how anyone can treat their own child with such disrespect or tear them down. Our job as parents is to lift them up and help them discover their true selves!
    #sharewithme

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  6. Great post and how awful thing to do especially as they might not be able to attend themselves. Mindboggling!

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  7. Yes, yes, yes!!!! It breaks my heart to see parents shaming their children! I remember to well being a child, shamed before my peers and other adults. It stays with you. Wonderful post!

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  8. That is awful that people are writing things like that. Shame on them. I stay in my bubble where all is happy with my kiddos. The world scares me sometimes. lol Great post hun. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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  9. I agree totally with what you're saying here. With everything on the internet being out there, those poor children could have it hit them later in life even if they're not seeing it when it happens.

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