Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Tiredness & feeling 'Mummy guilt'

Its to be expected though with a four week old baby. I have been told lots lately to stop trying to be SUPERMUM.

The horrible thing about tiredness, or in my case, over-tiredness is that it seems as if it changes your whole perspective for the day ahead, anything small that goes wrong feels like its the worst thing to ever happen, anything that the kids to seem to do feels like they're doing it just to irritate you - when in fact, they're not. They're just being their ages and exploring life!

My biggest issue here with the tiredness is that it makes me doubt myself as a mother. Usually we're such a happy bunch. and have wonderful days filled with fun, baking, playing, groups etc. But those days where you feel unwell, or just like a zombie can be hard with three small children aged 3 & under. On those days I end up losing patience with anything and anyone very quickly, using a moody tone of voice, not having the motivation to do much, meeting the demand of each childs individual needs equally, and when I feel like I can't respond to them fast enough - I kick myself down and think i'm a rubbish Mum or If I can't spend all day playing on the floor & interacting with the elder two - I feel guilty. Really, really guilty.

I have lots of people telling me to stop being silly, but in my mind set on those tough days - its hard for me to listen. I want to be the fun, playful, patient, loving mother all the time, anything short of this - I feel awful. I do need to remember that we're all human, we all have tough days, as well as amazing days. Especially small children! They're learning about their feelings and what life is every single day, everything is new to them! I like to try and validate their feelings when they're being sad, or emotional. Maybe this is what I need to start doing for myself too! I just want to be a lot more patient with myself, be kind to myself. and stop putting myself down when it gets challenging. Because deep down, I know i'm doing a fantastic job with my children. You've only got to see how happy they are to know this.

This saying has lifted my spirit today.
"There's no perfect way to be a mother, but a million ways to be a good one."

1. Remember you're not alone. A big percentage of mothers feel this way sometimes.
We're all human!

2. Take time out for yourself - a quiet coffee, meet a friend, a pilates class, a hot lavender bath when the children are in bed, a nice meal with your husband/partner, haircut - you name it! for your own sanity, everyone needs breathing space, even kids so they will majorly benefit from this too. 

x N x
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1 comment

  1. This basically sums up my thoughts since our newest little one arrived 6 weeks ago! Being overly tired has got a lot to answer for - I find I second guess myself at almost every occasion at the moment which then in turn makes me grumpy and probably not a very fun mummy. I definitely need to catch up on sleep and as my husband keeps saying - stop trying to do everything!

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