Friday, 28 February 2014

Be kind to yourself, we are all human!

The past month or so has been a whirlwind to say the least, I've been heavily pregnant, running around after my two sweet girls and then becoming a Mummy to our sweet little boy. Combining all of that along with tiredness, hormones, my biggest girls pre-school run twice a day, adapting to the night feeds, a new breastfeeding journey, and overall learning new things everyday as with each child you have, you realise that they're not all the same! Different needs, different likes/dislikes etc. It tests your patience, your mind-set and above all your self belief in being a parent.

So you feel like you're not being the 'best' at it - wow, don't you just feel like a failure? I certainly do. Even the small things like not making the beautiful dinner I had planned, or feeling like I've not been playing with the girls enough as I've spent a lot of the day feeding or changing nappies, not finishing the household tasks. All of these things not being completed always make me feel like I'm not doing my job properly.

I think all I can do in this moment of time is try to embrace it all, know that its all learning. It's our journey we are taking together as a family, and it will get easier - one day at a time. 


Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Tiredness & feeling 'Mummy guilt'

Its to be expected though with a four week old baby. I have been told lots lately to stop trying to be SUPERMUM.

The horrible thing about tiredness, or in my case, over-tiredness is that it seems as if it changes your whole perspective for the day ahead, anything small that goes wrong feels like its the worst thing to ever happen, anything that the kids to seem to do feels like they're doing it just to irritate you - when in fact, they're not. They're just being their ages and exploring life!

My biggest issue here with the tiredness is that it makes me doubt myself as a mother. Usually we're such a happy bunch. and have wonderful days filled with fun, baking, playing, groups etc. But those days where you feel unwell, or just like a zombie can be hard with three small children aged 3 & under. On those days I end up losing patience with anything and anyone very quickly, using a moody tone of voice, not having the motivation to do much, meeting the demand of each childs individual needs equally, and when I feel like I can't respond to them fast enough - I kick myself down and think i'm a rubbish Mum or If I can't spend all day playing on the floor & interacting with the elder two - I feel guilty. Really, really guilty.

I have lots of people telling me to stop being silly, but in my mind set on those tough days - its hard for me to listen. I want to be the fun, playful, patient, loving mother all the time, anything short of this - I feel awful. I do need to remember that we're all human, we all have tough days, as well as amazing days. Especially small children! They're learning about their feelings and what life is every single day, everything is new to them! I like to try and validate their feelings when they're being sad, or emotional. Maybe this is what I need to start doing for myself too! I just want to be a lot more patient with myself, be kind to myself. and stop putting myself down when it gets challenging. Because deep down, I know i'm doing a fantastic job with my children. You've only got to see how happy they are to know this.

This saying has lifted my spirit today.
"There's no perfect way to be a mother, but a million ways to be a good one."

1. Remember you're not alone. A big percentage of mothers feel this way sometimes.
We're all human!

2. Take time out for yourself - a quiet coffee, meet a friend, a pilates class, a hot lavender bath when the children are in bed, a nice meal with your husband/partner, haircut - you name it! for your own sanity, everyone needs breathing space, even kids so they will majorly benefit from this too. 

x N x

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Welcoming our baby boy - Phoenix

Introducing our little boy Phoenix
Born 29th January 2014 at 10:30pm
weighing 8lb 14oz

We never found out the sex when expecting each of our three children, I carried them all the same - a great football shape on my front, not looking pregnant from behind, no crazy cravings (only that I loved milkshake with Y-M, Juice with H, and the smell of orange zest with P. Oh and that I completely went off tea throughout all three pregnancies, even though I j'adore tea!)

Its bizarre though as when I was expecting Y-M, something in my heart was telling me that I was going to mother a little girl first. So when she came out, I was in amazement that my gut was right. Then with H, again, something inside of me was saying that Y-M was going to be a proud big sister to a baby sister. I just had a vision. True again. Then when expecting Phoenix, I had another premonition that the girls were going to be completely in love with a little baby brother & that they would giggle & torment him at bath time as he would have a 'winky' much to their amusement! 

I did have little feelings about having a third girl, but I just had a 'feeling'.
Mothers instinct? maybe. but all I know is that we are very very blessed with our three beautiful little children. 

These images were from a session with a very talented lady who offered to photograph us when Phoenix was 7 days old, she also let me capture my own images of him as I am in early stages of my business One Happiness Photography & Design - this was very helpful to me and very kind of her. It was a lovely experience & even more precious to me as I now have these images of us as a family of FIVE.

All images credited to Ann Wo Photography

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